Hello all. I'm Michelle and I decided to start a blog for whatever reason. I guess I'm just kind of needing a way to release my thoughts. I don't exactly have the patience to write in a diary, I don't want to bore my boyfriend, and things usually end up not so well for me when I tell my "friends" whats on my mind. Then I usually end up regretting I opened my big fat gob at all.
Ok, so recently, or not so recently, someone (lets call him C) broke up with a friend of mine (A). It has been almost two months and she is still kinda obsessive about things in my opinion. She dated for about two months and this was her first boyfriend and all, but I really think she is taking things a little too far. Yes, I know, I was there once...M broke up with me after almost ten months of happiness. He goes running back to his ex only to be hurt yet again. She really and truly is a bad person, and he is so love blind or something that he cant see that. Shes dating someone who shes been seeing for forever and hooks up with an ex who is TAKEN by me. Any self respecting woman would steer clear of men who are not single. Not only that, but she straight up manipulated me. Thats the worst, I thought M was the bad guy and that HE TRIED to hook up with her and she politely refused and left. That, however is not his story. He said she begged him and he kissed her. I believe him because I love him, and this time we are trying to make it work. I hope he realizes how much he really has with me. Anyway, back to A. Shes so sensitive, at first you feel really bad for her. But after a while of her just moping and being so emo and almost like a hypochondriac (she gets these massive migraines which prevent her from going to school *cough cough*) and she gets sad every time she hears his name. Also, apparently she didnt want to tell me certain things about her experiences with him. But seriously, I guess I'm not trustworthy to hear anyones secrets. Thats fine, I open my mouth way too much to people who dont trust me. I probably shouldnt trust them. My other friends (L and C) probably hate me now because I am going back out with M. I've never felt really included in their best friendship or whatever. I'm the one who doesnt fit in. The one without a best friend who thinks like me. Someone I can confide in that knows really whats best for me and what will make me happy. M is the closest thing to a best friend, so that makes him my best friend. All i really want is that girl who knows me as well as I know myself. Where we have infinite inside jokes and talking never gets old. L and C, as well as most of my other friends, are only my friends based on convenience. I realized this which kinda makes me sad, but its true. We give rides, and they come over when they feel like it which is very rarely. They are so judgmental when it comes to my choices....and they don't really know me that well. A, well she comes off as fake to me. It bothers me because sometimes i think she flirts with M. WHEN I'M STANDING RIGHT THERE! seriously, whats wrong with you? and she is an absolute bitch to me sometimes. Like all of a sudden, where did this attitude come from. It leaves me speechless. S, shes just a wild child. We are in completely different places. Not very easy to relate to her I guess...I'm not even sure what it is. I had a few best friends growing up. Maybe its because of all these damn hormones, making everything difficult. My first best friend was Michael Swift in my toddler and preschool days. Then it was Abbey Moore for early elementary school. Later elementary school was Jennifer Gagliano. Like 4th grade was when I started to realize i was mostly alone. I had kinda best friends, C then L, then Darriane Germano. But no one was really one of those "best friends"
I miss those days in Summerlin a lot I realize. I feel I could've been so much more, maybe possibly. No, I'm a nerd. I don't fit it. My social circle is almost pitiful. I miss all those people. They don't miss me, I can assume. They are living the lives that I could have had. Oh well, I will make do with what I have now.