Saturday, June 19, 2010

SUMMER BUCKET LIST

1. Finger paint
2. Be a 'Yes' girl for a day
3. Have a boys vs. girls water balloon fight
4. Learn something on the guitar
5. Write a letter & send it, snail-mail style
6. Pool hopping
7. See somebody famous
8. Spend an afternoon watching the clouds
9. Spend a night watching the stars
10. Try all 31 Baskin Robin Flavors
11. Sing a song with a lot of people
12. Road trip to the beach/lake
13. Climb a tree
14. Watch a sunset
15. Watch a sunrise
16. Fly a kite
17. Make a fort
18. Bonfire Party
19. Laser tag!
20. Go horseback riding
21. Make a FREE HUGS sign
22. Do a photo shoot
23. Go camping
24. Send a message in a bottle
25. Watch the Perseus Meteor Shower (August 12 @ 10:30, NE Sky)
26. Learn something in Italian
27. Ride on a train
28. Blow soap bubbles
29. Mall scavenger hunt!
30. Carve a heart + my name + someone else's name into a tree
31. Take a photo every day of summer
32. Make a piece of origami
33. Yoga!
34. Read 50 books
35. Dance in the rain
36. Play Flashlight tag
37. Let go of past grudges
38. Go to Pole Position
39. Go rock climbing
40. Splash my feet in a fountain
41. Dye my hair
42. Cook an entire meal
43. Go out with a really special guy :)
44. Go surfing
45. Eat breakfast outside
46. Get a henna tattoo
47. Cliff diving
48. Harry Potter Party
49. Write a short story
50. Get my license
51. See a fortune teller
52. Write in a blog
53. Make a t shirt
54. See a movie at midnight
55. Do a cover song and put it on youtube
56. Go to a concert
57. Ask a random boy for his number
58. Call random boy
59. Watch Disney movies all day with friends
60. Practice for swim team
61. Read a novel by Nicholas Sparks
62. Order something in another language
63. Be in the back of a random person's photo
64. Send balloon messages to people
65. Random act of kindness
66. Be nicer to people
67. Do community service
68. Plan out a road trip
69. Order something off of Jamba Juice's Secret Menu
70. Have a girls day
71. Make a summer tote bag
72. Create a photo journal
73. Make a friendship bracelet
74. Make a collage
75. Leave a note on somebody's car window
76. Get a tan
77. Pool party
78. Ride a roller coaster
79. Go atving
80. Go on a double date
81. Make someone blush
82. Pull an all-nighter
83. Meet cute european boys
84. Hide and go seek at night
85. Walk behind & copy a stranger until they notice me
86. Make a cake
87. BODY paint
88. Get closer to someone
89. Rebuild a relationship with someone I used to know
90. Do something that scares me
91. Give advice
92. Make a phone solicitor hang up on me
93. Learn how to change oil in a car
94. Watch a black-and-white classic movie
95. Learn more about something
96. Skinny dipping?
97. Laugh so hard I cry
98. Find the song for Summer 2010
99. Ice blocking
100. Make smoothies
101. Drive in movie

Friday, June 18, 2010

If you let them go and they don't come back, they were never the one. I was thinking he would come back, he was "the one". He was supposed to fight for me and be my best friend. But he lied to me, so I lied back. I told him I trust him. And I absolutely dont. He had a thing with a "friend" of mine within weeks. And lied to me about it. How is that trustworthy. I dont trust either of them. Or the friends I think I have, because they would choose anyone else over me. I've been imagining and wishing for my dream boy for quite some time now. Why wont he get here already? I need a best friend, someone I can be completely comfortable with...I know its really pathetic but I take comfort in the fact that she wont be as good as I was. The first kiss can tell him that, and he should know already that he wont have what we had. Shes just his rebound and shes getting my sloppy seconds and they will not make each other happy for very long. God, I'd love to get out of here, I'm just scared I wont know what to do when I'm gone. And I'm scared the same people will be everywhere. If thats the case, jesus I dont know what Ill do. If only I can find someone who will make me feel like Mike did on those occassions he felt like making me happy, but all the time, and for no other reason than because he loves me. Are there even guys out there like that? I dont know, but I sure hope so. For now, maybe I'll flirt around...Get a cute guys number from London or something. I do love those accents. :)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Hello all. I'm Michelle and I decided to start a blog for whatever reason. I guess I'm just kind of needing a way to release my thoughts. I don't exactly have the patience to write in a diary, I don't want to bore my boyfriend, and things usually end up not so well for me when I tell my "friends" whats on my mind. Then I usually end up regretting I opened my big fat gob at all.
Ok, so recently, or not so recently, someone (lets call him C) broke up with a friend of mine (A). It has been almost two months and she is still kinda obsessive about things in my opinion. She dated for about two months and this was her first boyfriend and all, but I really think she is taking things a little too far. Yes, I know, I was there once...M broke up with me after almost ten months of happiness. He goes running back to his ex only to be hurt yet again. She really and truly is a bad person, and he is so love blind or something that he cant see that. Shes dating someone who shes been seeing for forever and hooks up with an ex who is TAKEN by me. Any self respecting woman would steer clear of men who are not single. Not only that, but she straight up manipulated me. Thats the worst, I thought M was the bad guy and that HE TRIED to hook up with her and she politely refused and left. That, however is not his story. He said she begged him and he kissed her. I believe him because I love him, and this time we are trying to make it work. I hope he realizes how much he really has with me. Anyway, back to A. Shes so sensitive, at first you feel really bad for her. But after a while of her just moping and being so emo and almost like a hypochondriac (she gets these massive migraines which prevent her from going to school *cough cough*) and she gets sad every time she hears his name. Also, apparently she didnt want to tell me certain things about her experiences with him. But seriously, I guess I'm not trustworthy to hear anyones secrets. Thats fine, I open my mouth way too much to people who dont trust me. I probably shouldnt trust them. My other friends (L and C) probably hate me now because I am going back out with M. I've never felt really included in their best friendship or whatever. I'm the one who doesnt fit in. The one without a best friend who thinks like me. Someone I can confide in that knows really whats best for me and what will make me happy. M is the closest thing to a best friend, so that makes him my best friend. All i really want is that girl who knows me as well as I know myself. Where we have infinite inside jokes and talking never gets old. L and C, as well as most of my other friends, are only my friends based on convenience. I realized this which kinda makes me sad, but its true. We give rides, and they come over when they feel like it which is very rarely. They are so judgmental when it comes to my choices....and they don't really know me that well. A, well she comes off as fake to me. It bothers me because sometimes i think she flirts with M. WHEN I'M STANDING RIGHT THERE! seriously, whats wrong with you? and she is an absolute bitch to me sometimes. Like all of a sudden, where did this attitude come from. It leaves me speechless. S, shes just a wild child. We are in completely different places. Not very easy to relate to her I guess...I'm not even sure what it is. I had a few best friends growing up. Maybe its because of all these damn hormones, making everything difficult. My first best friend was Michael Swift in my toddler and preschool days. Then it was Abbey Moore for early elementary school. Later elementary school was Jennifer Gagliano. Like 4th grade was when I started to realize i was mostly alone. I had kinda best friends, C then L, then Darriane Germano. But no one was really one of those "best friends"
I miss those days in Summerlin a lot I realize. I feel I could've been so much more, maybe possibly. No, I'm a nerd. I don't fit it. My social circle is almost pitiful. I miss all those people. They don't miss me, I can assume. They are living the lives that I could have had. Oh well, I will make do with what I have now.